Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

  • Title: Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
  • Author: Henry Cloud
  • ISBN: 9780310296034
  • Page: 313
  • Format: ebook
  • Boundaries When To Say Yes How to Say No Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy balanced lifestyle A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible In other words boundaries define who
    Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not Boundaries impact all areas of our lives Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances Mental boundariesHaving clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not Boundaries impact all areas of our lives Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask Can I set limits and still be a loving person What are legitimate boundaries What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money Aren t boundaries selfish Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend offer biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co workers, and even ourselves.

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      Posted by:Henry Cloud
      Published :2018-011-26T18:18:40+00:00

    About Henry Cloud


    1. Dr Cloud has written or co written twenty five books, including the two million seller Boundaries His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.As president of Cloud Townsend Resources, Dr Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country He speaks on relationships marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.


    607 Comments


    1. One of the most life-changing books I have ever read.Judgmental people BEWARE: Do not mock this review. No, not even in your head. If you have come here to gloat and feel superior to someone you think is an idiot for liking something so clearly beneath your Literature IQ, do me a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Go away. Are you gone?Ok, good. As I was saying, this book is one of the greatest, most life-changing books I have ever read. People who are critical of that statement have n [...]

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    2. I'm not a huge fan of "Christian-lite" self-help writing because it so often feels formulaic, especially when the authors start each chapter with cheesy anecdotes from their own practice. However, I'm giving Cloud and Townsend a pass because the ideas put forth in Boundaries have so completely revolutionized my view on the subject. The authors give solid Biblical backing for why boundaries are important, how they are formed, and how to set them in your own life. I especially appreciated that the [...]

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    3. Not what I expected. I decided to read this after seeing some glowing reviews. So I opened the book, read the introduction "A Day in a Boundaryless Life" describing a day of a lady who's unable to refuse anyone but feels resentful and guilty about her resentfulness, and a couple of pages on the book. Then skipped to the end, "A Day in a Life with Boundaries", describing the same person who has successfully set boundaries, and doesn't hesitate to say "no" anymore. Well, it's not for me. In my vie [...]

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    4. This book is life-changing. Turns out a discussion of boundaries is really a discussion about every single relationship in your life, your personal self-worth and discipline, your childhood, and your religion. The good doctors come at this from a Christian perspective, but they pull no punches in addressing the massive problem Christians, in particular, have with these issues. At every turn, they are brutally honest, logical, and biblical. The end result is the encouragement and empowerment to l [...]

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    5. Not in my normal genre so I can't give this 5 StarsSCREW THAT!!!! 5 Stars, 5 Stars, 5 Stars! 100 Stars if I could give 100 stars! *Sigh* Oh well, 5 Stars it is. This is a book that every human being alive or dead should be required to read. Christian or Non-Christian alike. Yes, Cloud and Townsend relate the idea of Boundaries to God. However, this idea of boundaries and how we apply them to ourselves and other people is universal. And it blew my mind. I never thought about this idea of boundari [...]

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    6. I listened to this on tape while driving, but I intend to go back and read it (probably more than once) so that it can more thoroughly seep into my head. This is a great book for anyone who has problems saying 'no' to family, friends, church assignments, coworkers, or themselves. It's really good for anyone who has a *RELATIONSHIP* with any of the aforementioned, which is essentially everyone.*************FOLLOWUP: I had to return this to the library, without finishing it. I am having a very dif [...]

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    7. I was hesitant at first to read this book because the synopsis referred to Christians and being that I am not Christian and not seeking to live a Christian lifestyle, I didn't think it would be for me. However, I did start to read the first chapter and soon discovered it was indeed for me. I may not be a Christian, however I was raised Christian therefore learned about boundaries the way Christian see them, a bit too loose and forgiving.The book may make scripture references but not so much that [...]

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    8. I'm not done reading the book yet, so I may update this later. The fact is, if I wasn't reading this book for a book group, I don't think I would go any further, or gotten as far as I have.The thing I hate the most in this one is how much scripture is quoted. The authers feel like they have to back up every sentance they right with scripture in order to make what they just said okay. To accomplish this they often end up twisting the words of the orginal authors and take things out of context. I [...]

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    9. This is an excellent book. I actually purchased and read a newer edition, with a white and red cover. This book could apply to many different troublesome situations. If you're a people pleaser that tends to get stressed out, there are some really helpful things in here. Or if you are liable to be taken advantage of.I like the Christian viewpoint, because it takes into account the fact that followers of Christ WANT to serve others and not be "selfish." Yet it also teaches why we must set boundari [...]

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    10. This book really helped to clarify for me that it is not selfish or unChristian to get your own life in order using boundaries. Keep pushing forward with defining your boundaries, although others may react negatively. That is their problem with boundaries of others, not yours. I think the authors secretly spied on me and all my interpersonal relationships to write this book! But seriously, reading this and using my bible as helplots of scriptural references to how God wants us to set our boundar [...]

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    11. هو كتاب علم نفس رائع جداً ومفيد يعلمك كيف تصنع الحدود ويعطي أمثلة ونماذج من الحياة ويحلل تصرفات الأشخاص ازاء الحدود وأسباب عدم وجود الحدود. الكتاب من وجهة نظري لغته سهلة وسلسلة بالنسبة لكتب علم النفس لا يحتوي على كلمات معقدة. كما انه يعرض نصوص مسيحية ويناقش رأي الكاتب من وجهة [...]

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    12. Having issues with setting boundaries, I was really excited to start reading this book based on all the wonderful reviews on amazon. Imagine my disappointment when I did start and found it utterly ordinary. In fact, it was rather difficult to finish. I feel like half the book was about understanding the different ways you are not setting boundaries. OK, I get it: to find a solution, you need to know the problem. But that was a lot of background.Then, there are chapters for each type of relation [...]

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    13. A five-star book for those of us who just san't say no to others. If you need to learn how to distance yourself and protect your family from needy people in a moving way, check it out. It's ok to say no. It's ok to take care of your own needs sometimes!

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    14. Trông chờ dữ lắm rốt cuộc thất vọng bực mình, dị ứng với một nùi mấy câu kinh thánh, đưa vô chục câu thôi còn được, đoạn nào cũng có 1 câu thì sao chịu nổi. Cuốn này chắc hợp với mấy con chiên ngoan đạo, loại vô đạo như mình thật không đọc nổi.

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    15. I took my time reading this one. It's got some pretty powerful questions about how you treat yourself and see yourself in relation to other people in your life.

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    16. This book is just a bunch of Christian psycho-babble about how to 'say no'. the author drones on and on with example situations about a working mom driving the kids to soccer practice, being asked to volunteer at church, all the while juggling her career with the needs of her jerk of a husband and bratty / whining kids. Really, it's not much more than a book created to give people excuses for making bad choices in the first placee book could be summed up in a few sentences:1) if you want to have [...]

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    17. Probably a very helpful book for someone else, but not for me. Too simplistic and too generic and too boring. Just not necessary and not useful for me. This feels too much like a self-help book.This book keeps returning back to me recently, and I know other friends who have praised it. So I feel that I might return to this one some day.

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    18. I didn't think I needed this book. Boundaries? Sounded like a bad word to me. Boy, was I wrong. I've read this book twice now, and each time I got something new. I plan on reading it again, especially all the quotes I underlined. It's the type of book that everyone can benefit from at different points in their life. Don't be mislead, like I was, thinking this book was only for those in romantic relationships or married. It's just as beneficial for those who are single (maybe even more so). I lov [...]

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    19. I've been taking a class this summer on boundaries, based on the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. According to , "Personal Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits. Personal boundaries define you as an individual. They are statements of what you will or wo [...]

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    20. This is a literal story of not judging a book by its coverSomeone I trust very deeply about such issues recommended I read this book called "Boundaries." When I found it at the library, I was horrified! It looked like a cheesy self-help book, and worse, it had won the Gold Medallion Book Award - "in recognition of excellence in Evangelical Christian literature." Needless to say, I was terrified; in no way do I self-identify as an Evengelical. But like I said before, I trusted this person, so I c [...]

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    21. I'd passed this book by chance while researching cover design on and thought the summary sounded eerily like a sermon I needed to hear. Pleasantly, my library had it, and I checked it out--and, as often happens with library books, neglected it until it was overdue. I could always check it out later, right? But I decided that I should at least read it lightly, even if I couldn't do a thorough study, before I returned it.I'm glad I did. I'd not be exaggerating to say this book may change my life. [...]

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    22. Incredible book. It has helped me so much to consider how to navigate situations at work, at home and in social situations. I highly recommend it, especially if you don't especially love confrontations, like myself. This is from the book's description: "Often Christians focus so on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limitations. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer biblically based insights into how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co [...]

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    23. This book changed my life forever. This is a very powerful book that teaches you what boundaries are and how to set them. This book set me free and brought great healing to my life. Some of the principles were hard for me to implement just because of past hurts. But they have made me a happier and healthier person. The concepts are easy to understand and get. I just had to have the courage to let God move in this area of my life. When I did EVERYTHING changed for the good. I highly recommend thi [...]

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    24. I found it to be a very practical book. Its so easy to allow others to take advantage of me but if I set boundaries in a healthy Christian manner it makes for better relationships. As the sayinggoes; "Good fences make good neighbors."

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    25. I really love reading books where I get a new view of scripture applied to areas of life. While I may not agree with all interpretations of how certain scriptures are applied, there are always so many that completely break up my "concrete" understanding of how the christian is supposed to live. This book feels SO important to where I'm at in life, and greatly helped me understand WHY I have certain strugglesE BAD:- The opening of this book was pretty dreadful. I don't know why I keep encounterin [...]

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    26. I really liked this book.This is a Christian outlook on how to create healthy boundaries and be Christ like. I have been doing a lot of work on myself to become a better mother, wife, friend and just all around person. It has not been an easy journey. I have come to really appreciate books like this that call you on your crap and don't beat around the bush. Saying no to people and standing up for myself have been very difficult things for me to learn. This book came when I was very ready to hear [...]

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    27. Very, very good.

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    28. I usually write reviews right away, but I had some trouble figuring out what I wanted to say here. I felt that this book needed one both to explain my rating and to give an honest analysis of the shortfalls, but I also have a deep desire to critique in a way that is not dismissive of other interpretations. I'm not really sure if I'm glad I read this book or not. I don't usually read "self-help" type books, but this book came highly recommended to me in regard to my tutoring business. As someone [...]

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    29. In a nutshell: Relationship problems often result from a lack of clear, enforced boundaries. The authors provide excellent advice for identifying such problems and lovingly enforcing boundaries.This book covers a lot of ground (from identifying boundaries to boundary problems commonly found with yourself, your children, work, spouse, friends etc, to ways of dealing with problems), so this review focuses on some of the more important aspects. Put simply, boundaries are how you are defined as a pe [...]

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    30. Boundaries are limits that people create for themselves to see what are permissible ways for others to behave towards them and what are the limits of one's actions towards others. Through these boundaries one will know when to say yes and when to say no in order to have a greater control ones life.In the beginning this book was a bore, and one thing that may bother many readers is the references to the bible on literally every page. It does help reinforce some of the points, but at times it can [...]

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